Onwards...2013

I'll be honest I'm not overly thrilled at this point as I write this mail, in light of the situation back home and the general mood world over. I don't know why all the bad guys always wait for the end of the year to carry out whatever they do. Cuz if they're hoping for a fresh start in the New Year, I hate to be the one to burst their bubble in telling them that it ain't going to happen. Safe to say Akhil and I aren't in any hurry to bring more children into this world, which seems to have less and less to offer.

In the same breath, I must be grateful for living in a country like Hong Kong, where living fearlessly is an understatement.

Lets just hope people start behaving more like animals and less like human beings, because it seems like animals have more compassion and love in their hearts when it comes to their own kind than we have today. For all those of you asking for the beasts to be hanged, give castration a thought. The physical, emotional and egotistical suffering lasts forever. 

In more sad news, I recently discovered that all the Chinese noodle soup that I happily relished all year long, isn't as healthy as I thought it was. Our relationship with food has changed forever. Nothing is a 100% natural anymore. A friend of mine recently introduced me to his new field of work- fish farming! We cultivate fish today! In huge tanks dug on earth, that are nothing short of man made cement lakes. I was in shock after watching the video of his factory in China. Its no wonder we must say a prayer before every meal! "Dear god thank you for this food and help me survive all the chemicals in it or the chemical processes its been through"

On a happier note I DID IT!

And I can barely believe I did. I successfully completed a whole year (and 14 days) of my first ever full time job - training at a salon:) You can only understand the greatness of my achievement this year if you try understand the psyche of a performer at heart, who isn't performing anymore. It wasn't easy, but I did it and enjoyed every bit of it. That took up the bulk of my year, the rest of it was spent recovering from long days of work, entertaining our family and friends who had travelled from all over to spend time with us, traveling ourselves and pretty much getting used to a whole new work life.
Surprisingly the second year of marriage was even more fun than the first one, Akhil didn't pull any surprises on me and do a 180 degree turn that I've been told most men do after marriage. So thats a good sign:)
Not only did we make some great new friends this year, but the manner in which I met most of them and then subsequently their other halves is very telling of how ransom I seem to be as a person, contrary to the image I have of my sane self in my head.

• One on a flight
• One in a toilet
• One whose head I shampooed in the salon
• One who sat behind me on a bus(this in a country where you don't talk to anyone you don't know, you don't even smile at them) and
• One who I met everyday at work for 6 months, before forging a connection over e-mail!!

Like I said COMPLETELY RANDOM. And what makes me happiest about knowing them all is that they're all "good" people with good intentions. Maybe there is hope after all. 

I miss all of you back home and think of you more often than you would know.

If any of you meet Aamir Khan , tell him we still have to do that movie together:) Oh and thank you for Satyamev Jayate! The first time I watched Indian television religiously every week, without fail. And if you haven't watched Homeland already, please do. i resented her 15 years ago for acting with my heartthrob fresh off the success of Titanic, when he was at the peak of my Leo adulation curve. Resent her even more now for having bagged such an awesome part in such an awesome show! Damn you Claire Danes.

Sending you lots of love, albeit from far away. ..

Hope its a peaceful, stable and kind 2013 for all of you.

Anaitha

The end of an era for me...

I recently lost Papaji (my maternal grandfather), the last of my grandparents. I had never had the chance to meet my maternal grandmother but at least I had the good fortune of meeting and spending so much time with 3 of them. It was the end of a generation for me, the end of an era.

I felt orphaned almost instantly even though I have both my parents, a sibling, a husband and his family to cherish. It was an empty feeling I cant describe, that made me feel so hollow. All three of them lived happy, healthy lives and died of old age, which always helps in your acceptance of it, but still I felt a vacuum that upset me so much. I realized then what an important part of my life they had been even though my interaction with them became a lot less as I grew older, and got busy with my life. All of a sudden every instant spent with them and every memory came rushing back to me.

Apoopa (my paternal grandfather) was the one I loved the most. He might have been born in the 1914, but that didn't change my ability to interact with him right until 2008 when he passed, as if he was part of my generation. The way he thought, the manner in which he functioned, his discipline in life, his obsessiveness about routine and its importance in daily life, his love for education and learning, his never say never attitude, his honesty and straightforwardness, his belief in nobody and no god but the goodness of being.... I could go on.

Amooma's (my paternal granmother) love for feeding everyone who entered the house especially all her grandchildren. Her storytelling that was legendary, her humor, her never passing judgement even if there was cause for it, her staying up till 2 or 3 in the morning till every member of the house was back safely.Her waking up at 5 am everyday rain or sunshine to have a typical South Indian bath, water her garden, pluck fresh flowers from there and use it in her morning prayers asking all her gods to take care of her family. He singleminded focus and devotion towards her husband, ensuring everything she did was in the hope of a better, healthier life for him.

Papaji's generosity despite not having much, but was shown in every action of his, which just goes to show how one can be so generous even when they have nothing of material value to give.  When I think of him today the first thing that comes to mind is thoughtfulness. Whether it was waiting for everyone to be seated at the dinner table, and insisting on everyone having their plates full and eating before he would even start (this even at the age of 93), or it was offering his bed near the breezy window in the furnace that is Gulbarga in the peak summer so that we could have a peaceful night's sleep, even if he didn't. He had a temper that would put anyone to shame, and so despite an argument with him over the same things everyday we would have to succumb to his wants even though it angered us at seeing him so uncomfortable. Its amazing how stubborn and angry a nonagenarian can get.

Im 28 today and when I look back , so much of what I have learnt has unconsciously come from my observation of not just them but my parents interaction with them. I know every child thinks their parents are the best, but I can honestly say without the slightest doubt or hesitation that the manner in which my parents took care of my grandparents, and went out of their way throughout the course of their married lives to put their parents as number one priority- very few people do in todays busy, selfish times. Time, money, resources or even children, nothing took priority over taking care of their parents. At the first ring of the telephone, they would drop anything they might have been doing and fly to where their parents were, sit in hospitals for weeks, spend months at their homes, nurse them back to health if it even meant washing and cleaning up after their elderly mess. There was no job too menial or cumbersome and no time too precious when it came to taking care of them.
So today when I see children throwing their parents out of their own houses and tricking ailing parents into signing off property to them, I cringe, because I cant even imagine it. Grandparents to me were not burdens and people who took up so much of your time, instead were a wealth of knowledge by merely observing them. They were my time machines into the past to experience history as it was created in a world that I can never relate to. The were rich sources of information for solutions at the most basic levels, whether at home or at work, without the use of consultants, help, gadgets or the internet.

And Im so saddened at not having them in my life anymore.
I miss you Apoopa, Amooma and Papaji and wish I had more time to spend with you. Thank you for everything you taught me without even knowing you did.