Hello 2012, You came soon!

Marriage. A child. The end of one fascinating,fulfilling career, the beginning of two others. Move to 2 different countries. Setting up home-twice. Routine. Learning. Never thought it would happen so soon, still can't believe it has, but its been (exactly) 11 months married and if this is what marriage is like I'd recommend it to everyone. I left Mumbai and 6 years of living a dream this Jan knowing that this was the right decision and that sometimes timing is everything. Thank god I was right. Id be lying if I said I didn't miss acting- I do. But in the same breath, this aspect of life was equally important to me if not more. Besides Jackie,Ang and Wong (Chan, Lee and Kar Wai respectively)  might just bump into me, who knows!

Singapore first, now Hongkong...I set up home for the first time without any help from mama. Never thought I'd manage, didn't know what my tastes were in colours and designs until I was in those stores buying things and I realized a pattern in what instantly got my attention and what definitely didn't. Another thing I never dreamt happening was me being out shopping and returning with things for the house instead of myself! Imagine that!!!

I'd never been a big fan of cooking everyday, when living alone, its no fun cooking for one. But with Akhil around, his vast knowledge of knowing what goes well with what and his abundant patience with my kitchen disasters, its been a pleasure. He definitely is the better cook(albeit very rare) but he's never once complained, instead has always had only words of encouragement and praise when completely undeserved too. Proceed with caution if I ever cook for you as I've been given to understand everything I make is Michelin standards ;)

Waking up early and having a daily routine, hasn't happened since college, hence was very welcome. I started teaching in Hongkong a week after we got here, something I've always thought I'd be good at, turns out I was right! However my 'soft gentle' voice working through the day decided to pack up after 5 months! And so teaching was not to be.

Not that I have a bucket list but if ever I did,this would top the list. I remember my highly educated, super successful, self made, 85 year old grandfather's reaction to my mentioning wanting to be a hairdresser about a decade ago,"What you want to be a barber?" He'll be happy to know I finally started on that lil dream, and for all those close to me who've willingly and under no duress trusted me with their hair thus far- Thank You! Once I'm done here you get free hair services for life!

Its my first ever regular "job" where I have to ask for annual leave every year (how fancy is that), have timings and can't just take off for a holiday when I feel like- having said that what a job it is! I go to work each morning on a ferry with the view attached. Spent 45 mins in the hairdressers chair yesterday with some hairdo being experimented on my head, have mirrors all around me (in Anaitha land,that's bliss!), get to dress up to work everyday, watch the best people in the business make magic with hair and all this while I learn and train to do something I've always wanted to do. Oh and did I mention unlimited free cuts and colours:)  As if every film I did wasn't messing enough with my hair, I now have temptation that will be the death of me.

And now for the child! Yes we had a new addition to our family-  just not born to us, but to Aashil and Komal. Something tells me I'm going to probably love this boy a lot more than I will my own child when it happens, simply because he's born to a brother I love and adore and so his baby is as good as mine, and he is and always will be the first.

And so 2011 comes to a close with not much fanfare and celebration but with happiness packaged in a form I've never experienced it in before.

To all those back home I miss you dearly, to all those I'm yet to meet here in Hkg, I can't wait!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Love Anaitha
8:26 am, HongKong.

Questioning happiness and sobriety.

Its 2011 where the whole world is turning to Yoga, spirituality, gurus, scientology, shrinks, art of living and what not to achieve happiness or dregs of it in whatever form it will come to them. I have always maintained that every  "issue" in a adult humans life stems from a childhood experience/s, which then later manifests itself into alcoholism, drugs, broken relationships, violence, anger and such in varying degrees.

Which brings me to me! I say with great pride that I had the best childhood, with love in such abundance that I never had to seek it anywhere else but at home. I'm 27 today - have never touched alcohol, drugs or tobacco simply because I never developed a taste or need for it. So when the world around me is on a quest for happiness and validation from any source - I feel blessed to be where I am. Now one would kill to be in my shoes yes? To be eternally happy, content with no cobwebs muddling the mind. I would think so, but given my profession I began questioning this state of mind a few years ago and in the last 3 months it seems to have gathered accelerated pace.

I am a performing artiste.Which puts me in the category of people who are creative - musicians, singers, actors, directors, writers, technicians and artists. My kind thrives on insecurity, substance abuse, sex, breakdowns, depression, heartbreak, being broke and  highs to combat the all time lows (that come with every failure in our effort to succeed) at some point. All this forms part of their "life experience" which is content and ammunition that they channel into their art. Which explains some of the most brilliant songs,poems, stories, paintings, films and performances of all time.

Lets talk about me now. I've never had my heart broken, I've never had a breakdown, I've never needed outside assistance apart from the regular doses of motivation from family and friends, I've never had a fling (they've all been committed relationships of a year minimum), I've never had a wild drunk night, I've never been broke and slept on a railway platform.... I've never done anything that could stir in me emotion so raw that it blossoms into a song filled with so much passion and emotion. Yes you could say,"Why not write about happy things, surely you have a bank of that emotion to draw from?" I do. But lets be honest which happy song/performance has ever brought you to tears, touched or moved you in a way that a sad one has!

So today when I have decided to explore my creativity and write I fall short because I realise that Happiness never made me want to write, it made me want to live! While sadness on the other hand always had me put pen to paper to get it out of my system in order to deal with it. But no sadness I experienced was astronomic enough to produce a great piece of art.

Now you tell me do I stay in for dinner tonight or get hammered and paint the town red? (pink...I like that colour better)

Elevators!

I have noticed the strangest, most predictable behavior ever since we moved into our apartment on the 35th floor. Our stay closer to the clouds called for alot more time spent in an elevator and boy has it been weird.

It all starts when you enter an elevator. They start by looking you up to down, very slowly thinking they are being discreet, when in fact they are being anything but that. Everything is noticed- your bag, your nails, your jewellery, your shoes, your clothes, why I'm sure they're even counting the wrinkles on each knuckle of mine if they could! But what else do you do right? You're shut into a closed space with an absolute stranger, being Hongkongian you wont even have basic courtesy to say hello or good morning, forget making conversation. So you start assessing the other person. once you are done with that, you keep looking up at the floors you are passing.... 2, 3, 4, 5 , 6.then you realise what a futile thing to be doing, so you look away, only to look up again 3 seconds later. We could have only moved 3 floors at best in those 3 seconds, but no we will still look at it purposefully as if it will fuel the elevator in to travelling like a rocket. Once we're done with that or in between our floor checks, we will look at our hands, because nope we've never seen them before in our lives! We will look at it from every angle almost as if it had a brand new 4 carat solitaire on it. If its a man maybe not.Then there is the watch- we have to check the time, not once in that 55 second journey, but about 3 times, because clearly we forget so we must check again and again and again.

The next time you're in an elevator with someone, notice how they behave - you could write a thesis on unnatural human behavior, purely based on elevator journeys.

ITS HILARIOUS!

Chopsticks!

I remember a time growing up in India where using chopsticks was a rarity and a skill indeed, given you rarely saw them at a regular Chinese restaurant, only at the 5 stars. Honestly, I loved visiting these restaurants predominantly because I knew Id be able to use chopsticks that day. An art I didn't get to practice very often.I'd later take the chopsticks home, thinking I'd spend more time with them, becoming more proficient in the bargain. That never ended up happening. Two tries later I'd ditch the chopsticks and opt for my spoon or fork instead, it took much less effort and was so much faster. 

However on the odd occasion that presented itself wherein I was in the company of people who were dexterous with these two sticks, I'd do my best to look well acquainted with them. My levels of concentration and determination on that particular day would decide how accomplished I'd be.

And then many years later I get married and move to chopstick heaven - THE EAST! Singapore and now Hong Kong. Over here its survival! Whether its takeaway or you being seated at the local food court,  that's all you will get to eat your meal with. Chopsticks and a soup spoon! A spoon I grew up hating. Could never understand why anyone would substitute the use of a perfectly well designed table spoon, with this bulky thick piece of ceramic to shove more mass volume,than soup down into my then very little mouth. 

And so be careful what you don't wish for, because its more than likely that that's exactly what you will end up with :) Having said that today I could give the chinese a run for their money with my chopstick skills ;)

Hair mousse = Clothes Starch?

A strange thought occurred to me this morning after a shower. 

I recently permed my hair, and as lovely as it looks, it insists on the use of some sort of hair stiffening lotion/cream/serum when its wet, so that it may set into lovely curls when dry. I've never been one to use or propagate the use of unnecessary products and cosmetics, however Hair Mousse seems to have become a must in my hair maintenance routine the last month. 

This morning however, I happened to wear a low back dress which made the wet mousse come in contact with my skin, and so when it dried,  it ended up feeling like a film of starch on my back. Which made me think!Both Hair Mousse and Starch serve the same purpose- temporary stiffness, which if stretched  the stiffness disappears. 

This reminded me of what my grandmom said people of her generation did to starch cotton sarees in Kerala. As rice is the staple food of that region, most households stored the starchy water after cooking their rice and later that afternoon dipped their washed cotton sarees in it and hung it out to dry on their terraces/fields. The result was a perfectly starched cotton saree. All this of course much before the advent of chemical starch available in stores today. 

And now for my theory - if I were to rinse my hair out in Rice water after a shower and let it dry, would it serve the same purpose as hair mousse? A safer, healthier more natural product wouldn't you say? 

Happy and "gay"

So 24th June was a historical day in New York with gay marriages being legalized and I couldn't help but smile. 

Smile for all those homosexual couples in America who now have another state wherein they may, like any other straight citizen enjoy the rights that a member of a marriage does, primary of course being legitimacy of the relationship. 

For all the celebration that followed there was an equal outcry, but naturally. An outcry from people who use holy books, culture and it being supposedly biologically unnatural to justify their stand. We've heard the debates several times before so I'm not going to reiterate. I understand people of the older generation being opposed to it, fair enough they were born in another time, where things were different, even dating was frowned upon. I can even understand someone having been brought up with the idea that it is wrong, because as you get older its tough to get rid of beliefs that are now ingrained.

 But what I don't understand is this- HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE???? Universally if there is one emotion or feeling that brings nothing but pure joy, a sense of belonging, a feeling of security, a feeling of being wanted; it is Love. Love is always a good thing in any form, because the direct result is a peaceful happy mind and state of being, right? So if there are people out there in the world who are just showing another person (so what if its to a person of the same sex) love- How can that be a bad thing?

In a place today where people are throwing their parents out of their own homes, fighting their own siblings in court, molesting their own children, raping their own cousins, murdering their friends, causing intentional harm to a known person- why would you possibly condemn thousands of people who just want to show another person some love? I would imagine that with the rapid increase in all the hate, mistrust,lying, deceit and fraud anyone would embrace love, because not only is it a good thing, its the best of all the good things.

Think about it, if you're against gay people and them being who they are - whats the worst harm that could come out of love? And please don't give me all this religion doesn't allow it, what about procreation, moral fabric of society, incest, HIV bullshit! Because all of us know that no person is religiously perfect you're always breaking some of the rules, don't worry about the human legacy being carried on we have the straight majority working on it as we speak , don't be the upholder of moral values because no one asked you to plus you ain't perfect yourself, don't even begin about incest because God knows how many more heterosexuals are guilty of that and please let HIV be because that is certainly not a homosexual disease, as we ALL know.

So until you have a better more valid argument that truly makes sense to your inner voice without a book or some rule telling you so, let love prevail....

Countries/Continents summed up in a line.

The United States of America - Marketing Genius

Canada                                  - Silent yet strong

Great Britain                           - Imperial (beep) who literally rule-ed half the world

Europe -                                - A historic and cultural past unparalleled

Africa -                                  - The richest yet poor

Saudi Arabia                          - Imagine what they could be if they rid themselves of patriarchal, male chauvenistic views - A whole country!;)
(the female population exists but that's where it ends)

Afghanistan                            - A vibrant civilisation repeatedly raped until destroyed.

India                                      - Blind to the macro future by living in the micro moment.

China                                     - Quick to utilize resources at the opportune moment.

Singapore                               - Efficient, well oiled paradise without a voice

Australia                                 - Isolated bliss

Geography class from west to east, thus ends. Good Night.

Fame ALWAYS comes at a price.

I started the day at 8 this morning watching Neil Patrick Harris' opening performance at the Tony awards,post which you tube merrily directed me from tony performances to oscar ones, to acceptance speeches, to stand up shows,to concerts and finally Whitney Houston!

My earliest memory of her was as a child playing the "Greatest Love Hits" cd that dad had recently bought, in our latest Kenwood 8 cd changer system. I'm talking 1993, when Channel V hadn't even hit Indian cable networks, let alone MTV. I'd sit in front of that system all day singing along with Cyndi Lauper, Beverly Craven, Mariah Carey, Simon & Garfunkel and of course Whitney Houston. Her song "Greatest love of all" was on that cd, and every time I'd sing it with her, I'd think she was singing about me and how I had to "lead the way" and that my "laughter" had to remind her of who she was. At 8 that was a huge responsibility to shoulder; I mean I had to singularly show humanity 'the way' and bring a smile to their face. Little did I know that Ms Houston was on her path to complete self destruction and living in denial for over 16 years post that and all the love she was speaking of had no place in her life at all.

Having seen the entertainment industry and its functioning from such close quarters, its not rocket science to tell that you need to be built certain way to survive. The road to success in entertainment can be emotionally debilitating and once you get there it ruins you anyway. Not always, but take some of the greatest names that have had immeasurable success and talent to match. It has definitely not been a fun ride, and I'm sure if you switch the cameras off, wash off the make up, look them in the eye and ask them the truth, most of them would have done it differently. But that's the problem with fame and success, when you're in the moment, reason and judgement don't really have a voice. You're just chasing one high after another, trying to balance your perfect image on the other side for the world to be sold on your 'Utopian life' which is anything but that. How can one human being keep satisfying their never ending need for fun and excitement when every beautiful experience they should have had over 15-20 years, they have in less than 5!
So first your famous- what more dya need?
Money- got it, now what?
Men/ women throwing themselves at you- check
Alcohol n drugs - tried them all, now?
Homosexuality - ok-ay!
Get Married - done that thrice over.
Have a baby - done (ended up with more than one in some cases ; what with all the IVF)
You've OD'd on every one of life's highs sooner than you could keep them coming. NOW WHAT?
Now you happily end up as a wreck for one and all to see.
You need the highs to combat all the pressure that you're in to sustain your acquired position- and you've exhausted all of them way too soon.

Agreed some of them had tough childhoods which have made them so, but fame still takes its fee from you for its unlimited benefits you enjoy.

Michael Jackson, Elvis Presley, Charlie Sheen, Amy Winehouse, Bruce Lee(not his doing, but killed nevertheless), Mathew Perry,George Michael, David Hasslehoff,  Macaulay Culkin, Elizabeth Taylor, Marilyn Monroe, Halle Berry ..... Whitney Houston. For her to have lost so many precious years of her career with a voice like that makes me wonder at how much greater an artist she could have become. Of all the divas Celine Dion seems to be the only one who has kept it together . All the rest of them gone! Whitney, Mariah, Toni Braxton, Shania Twain, Tina Turner - either it was/is drugs or an abusive relationship/ failed marriage.

Ah well, I'm sure the joy of fame and recognition compensates for some of it, or for their sake I hope it does.

Whats wrong with me?

Most often despite knowing what you should be doing, you just don't do it. 


Its been 12 days living in a country I've never been to before, and instead of going around exploring the place I've chosen to sit quiet and be by myself. Part of this stems from knowing that I will be here a while and so there is plenty of time to discover the wonders of HongKong and its Cantonese speaking population. But its the other part that baffles me. I just don't feel like it. Which is very unlike me.


And so I try and analyse, part of which is this piece of writing. 

• Am I upset being here? No.
• Do I not like the country? No, in fact I love it.
• Am I in denial? Definitely not.
• Am I lacking company? No.
• Is something bothering me which explains my lack of excitement and motivation to get "out there"? Yes. 

Ok. A clue. But what?
The recent demise of a dear friend's husband did put the brake on things for a while. But that was 20 days ago. And evidently I still haven't recovered. I've lost a lot of known people the last 10 years or so, the worst having lost my grandfather- but I consoled myself saying he was 95 and had lived a long, happy, full life, with no regrets. 
What makes this one different is knowing that he was only 37.Us having met him 32 hours ago having seen signs that yelled WARNING in red- but didn't act on them, knowing it was a life cut short, but worst of all having left behind an incredible happy marriage of 7 years and an inconsolable wife; who happened to be a dear dear friend. 
Sleep doesn't come easy, disturbing dreams are plenty, thoughts of her are abundant and frequent- and there's way too much time on my hands that only makes me think of it  more! 
The same time that I should be using to divert my mind, instead its occupied by thoughts that prevent me from doing just that.  its a strange cycle - but break it I must. 


Now that I know whats wrong. Lets see when I manage to make it right. Hong Kong lure me with your charms please...